Discover Your Gift By Identifying Your Double Edged Sword!
A sword is a very powerful tool when sharp! A double edged sword is especially dangerous. It has one edge pointing out at the world and one edge pointing directly at you. We are all born with a sword. Some of us don't know we have it, while others use it to damage ourselves and others without even realizing what's happening. When we are conscious of the tool it becomes a powerful weapon to help us navigate through life. We can fight enemies, help others, be a hero, and use our God given power. The danger is in the edge that is facing ourselves. As always, awareness is the key to finding the balance and using our gifts for goodness.
Thinking of this analogy helps me navigate through life differently. When I see someone (or myself) being self destructive, I know that it may be their gifts (or mine) that is causing the chaos. It can empower me to be less critical of others, kinder to myself, and communicate in a way that allows me to lift people up by pointing out their gifts. It allows me to bring myself, or help others, come back to balance.
Some stories of the double edged sword are the following:
1. One of my gifts is to be a deep thinker. Problem solving is my passion. I love to gain understanding of behaviors or situations. The gift helps me to be self-reflective in nature. The challenge of figuring out the "why" or deeper reasoning behind things makes me feel alive. I have used this gift in my life to help friends solve problems, to learn anything I put my mind to, and to contemplate the mysteries of life. When I use the gift properly, I am always growing. It's fun for me...to a point...(and here it is....the other edge of the sword). Some things just don't require over thinking it. I can overthink things to the point that I am simply crazy! It can be so self-destructive that a troubling scenario has crippled me for days. I could still be thinking about an awkward conversation I had with someone for days, when for them, it is long gone. It's in the past. Making a mountain out a mole hill is a side effect of over thinking unnecessary things. If I'm not careful to monitor my tool and stay aware, It becomes self-sabotaging. I can miss the present by living in the past too long.
2. My husband has the gift of caring for others and especially his family. He is loyal, loving, supportive and doesn't like it when those he loves suffer. It pains him to see those he loves hurt or go without (yes, the kids take full advantage of this and I become the bad cop!). His love is a gift. He is admired and respected by so many. However, our gifts are always doubled edged. His deep love can turn into enabling. He will do anything to avoid seeing those he loves hurt. However, this includes not allowing them to fail. We have to fail to learn and grow. Skinning our knees is good motivation to keep our bikes balanced! His gift can turn into something that prevents others from growing. When balanced and aware of the double edge of the gift, he can have a magical flow of love between himself and others. When out of balance, it causes himself and others harm.
3. My friend Shelly is the most giving person I know. She drops everything to help anyone, anytime with anything. I look at her use this gift in admiration. One time I went to the mall with her. We were walking along talking and the next thing I know, she is helping a custodial worker pull her cart of garbage out to the dumpster and there we were, all three of us are heaving bags behind the mall. I wouldn't have even noticed the struggling custodian. I know that I wouldn't have walked over and asked if she needed some help (however I have learned from Shelly and find myself noticing and reaching out more). She notices everything! I walk in a tunnel of deep thinking where I often don't see to the right or left of me. However, her gift becomes a double edged sword if she doesn't stay aware. One time her whole family wouldn't speak to her on a plane ride to Ireland because she almost made them all miss their flight by helping a lost stranger in the airport to find their gate. If not monitored and balanced, it's her family, friends and herself that can get neglected.
Take a moment to self-reflect on these questions:
What am I really good at that can sometimes get the best of me? That is your gift, your double edged sword!
Are the traits that annoy me about my loved ones actually their gifts out of balance? Can I really get mad at them for using their gifts or should I praise them for their gifts and help them see it differently? What can I do that honors that person and helps them see it as the sword that it is? Communicate with them in a way that honors their shortcoming as their gift. They will hear you in a different way.
Try for a day to view others self sabotaging behaviors as a potential gift out of balance and see if it changes your perspective of them and increases your flow of love to them. If you have seen this in action, please share a scenario with us in the comments! LIKE and SHARE to help others see shortcomings in a more loving way.
Consider yourself challenged to love more today, See things differently!
Cindy Walter
