Could You Have Imposter Syndrome? Read this!

Imposter syndrome, in my words,  is when you believe deep down that everyone may find out that you are a fraud. The way it show's up in my life is feeling as if people will discover that I am really not very intelligent, that I am not good enough to be doing what I do and that my authority is questionable. It feels as if my mind can't really catch up with your accomplishments, that there is a gap between the truth (reality) and my fears. Imposter Syndrome may make you feel as if somehow, you have gotten lucky! It is the fear of being..... found out!

This started for me when I was very young. I always felt like someone might find out that I really wasn't very intelligent (I didn't know that knowledge and intelligence are NOT the same thing). The more I figured out I wasn't knowledgeable about topics, the more I believed I wasn't intelligent. And this false belief stuck with me. I remember sitting in my first interview for a gas station cashier at the age of 16 thinking they would know I'm not knowledgeable enough for this job. Apparently in my mind it took a lot of intelligence to assemble sub sandwiches in the deli! This fear continued to follow me through college and into teaching. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I believed someone was going to discover I really just wasn't that smart. Actually, they may discover that I am stupid and I SUCK !!!! I thought "Clipboard Man" was going to show up. He would be a man with glasses, in a suit and tie, and he would look over the glasses and say "Cindy, can you come out here for a minute.......um .... we know..... Sorry.... we have hired a real teacher here to replace you." The reality was that I had great teacher evaluations, positive feedback from parents and administrators, and my relationship with students were strong. They knew they were loved in school and they showed great excitement in the learning environment. I still believed I may not get tenure for some reason, that I wasn't deserving. Nothing external would have helped me feel and know my own worth. I was nominated for and received teacher of the year for crying out loud! The imposter Syndrome in my mind continued to escalate despite my growing accomplishments. I realized that my problem was an internal job. 

Today I went to a writer's retreat and it was no different. Underneath I felt like someone would discover I was an imposter, in other words, not a "real writer." Can we even define "real writer?" There is nothing rational about this syndrome. The plus side is that it has helped me to wok harder and it continues to push me to improve myself.  I like to learn from anyone and everyone because I believe everyone knows something I don't know (and they do). I can appreciate that benefit! I truly care more about being good, learning more, improving my skills than I do about getting a paycheck. Most of the time I didn't even know my salary! Payday for me has been and will always be knowing I helped someone to the best of my ability.

It's the same feeling you would have if you were walking around in a mini-skirt with no underwear on. Always on guard. Unable to look anyone in the eye because somehow by looking at your eyes they may see through you and underneath your skirt and become AWARE (don't judge, I've never actually done this and if YOU have, I'm not judging you!)

This syndrome didn't really go away as you learn more. The more you know, the more you realize how much you don't know..... but to some who are looking to you in your field, you still appear as very knowledgeable.... or an expert. The word expert though implies that you know everything there is about a subject....which you don't (it's just easy to forget how much more you know than them on that subject) Life can be such a mind boggle!

What can you do about it? Tips for clearing "Imposter Syndrome"

• Redefine Intelligence vs Knowledge: You many know nothing about certain topics (or care to) but it does not mean you can't learn if you apply yourself. When I flew under the radar in high school doing the bare minimal, I had little knowledge but the intelligence and ability to learn was still there waiting to be tapped into! Our potential is always there, waiting for us to unleash it through attention and dedication of our efforts.

• Observe your self talk. If your self talk is overly critical and hindering your growth, change what you say to yourself to be supportive and encouraging. It works! Words are very powerful and they create our reality. Be your own best friend and advocate!

• You may be overly focused on yourself and worried about what others are thinking about you. Others really aren't thinking about how "good" we are at something. We have ourselves in the spotlight but no one else is monitoring your every move and critiquing you the way yu are yourself, unless they are a mentor or teacher. Just go do something for someone else and stop thinking so much (then you will really feel good) and you will shift your mindset to what really matters. GIVING!

• Realize that you're not alone! Even Maya Angelou was quoted saying: "I have written 11 books, but each time I think "Uh oh, they're going to find out now. I've run a game on everybody, and they're going to find me out." This syndrome effects very successful people too (maybe even more.)

• Accept that most people already know the deficits you think you're covering up (and they still love you and appreciate you anyway.)

• Straight up humility (honesty).... admitting to yourself and others that you are always learning, changing and evolving your knowledge and beliefs. Honor yourself by giving yourself room to grow. Accept yourself exactly like you are right now while at the same time taking the necessary steps to continue to improve yourself. If you pretend you know everything and that you are very important.... others will set out to prove otherwise. Too much pride gives you the opposite of what you desire.

• Don't compare yourself to others, just be your best self. Are you learning, growing, honest and humble? If so, you will be fine! Comparison is the thief of happiness.

If you know someone in the workplace who is either talking themselves up too much or talking others down, it may simply be that they are "leveling" themselves to compensate for Imposter Syndrome (a real love blocker right there.)

As a matter of fact, it could be that if you are experiencing this syndrome, you are probably succeeding because the syndrome makes you strive harder for validity and you get this by pushing yourself to grow rather than staying too comfortable, content, and not growing.

 

Despite the Imposter Syndrome that has plagued me my whole life, , I have always listening to the small voice insideacknowledged my ability and worthiness. That voice was powerful enough to push me through to take action and succeed. Sometimes I would look around and say to myself "Yes, you are good enough." I'm so thankful God always came through for me. He was always there whispering and truth telling! I'm so glad I listened to that voice of my spirit, my intuition.



Just before I hit the post button for this blog...... I always take a deep breathe and prepare for no likes and no comments and no shares because I'm just a "writer imposter".....should you choose not to share this, it may confirm my "Clipboard Man" nightmare (cheesy hint right there! Ha). SHARE and LIKE to help someone not feel so alone!

Consider Yourself The Real Deal!

Cindy Walter