Meet Mr. Hopelessness- 3 Strategies To Keep Him at Bay.

Scroll to the bottom if you would prefer to meet Mr. Hopelessness in audio! Read by me.

In the dark, there is always light. In the light there is always some dark. The yin yang symbol represents unity and hope for all. The symbol encourages me to embrace my pain and keep my eyes on the white dot. It is the light that is present in the dark. It's always there. Just like those helpers in the midst of devastation that we need to keep our eyes on to see love.

Some days out of nowhere, the sadness comes in. There it is again. Why? I ask hopelessly. Well....I have decided to embrace the yin yang as part of existence that everyone experiences. The good news is that no one is alone. I would like to introduce you to someone.

Meet Mr. Hopelessness:

Hey Mr. Hopelessness. There you are again. You are always hiding around the corner. I never know when to expect you. You are but a dark, dooming shadow. I'm learning to prepare for your visit though. You can get behind me today. I walk in front today. I'm prepared. I've got my tools. You keep following but I know you'll get tired and latch your dooming energy onto someone else who invites you to lead today. Someone who didn't prepare. Some days I'm too tired, weak and less prepared to lead. I'm aware that if I do the things that keep me strong I can ask you to get behind me. You don't always listen to the command to stay behind me but I'm not going to give up trying. I accept that you'll always show up. I know your lurking. Sometimes you catch me off guard. All is well but there you are again. You are sneaky and persistent. Some days, I will sit with you. Yes I will because I may need to find my faith again in the dark. I may need to refocus my laser vision on the light. Some days you teach me things I need to know. I don't reject you. I just won't let you dwell inside me for too long.
Your shadow lurks but I run for the light. I'm not going to be afraid of you. I'm not going to numb you out with all the ways of the world. If I run from you, you always gain on me. I'm walking slower and watching for you. I'm aware and more prepared. Your wildhorse days are diminishing, and I'm taming you slowly!

Please don't send in the white jackets for me! I wanted to introduce you to him for good reason. Naming him diminishes his power and hold on me. Sometimes when he sits in my lap, I actually call him by name. Hey Mr. Hopelessness! I have a conversation with him. Ah... you're winning today. You are taking the lead. Okay, if you are going to slow me down, well then I will rest more today, pray harder and meditate on all that is right. Take that! Ha! I wake up the next day. Oh you're still there! Well then let's dance......

The first strategy is to pull out my playlist I selected and named "Embrace and Express Pain." Mr. Hopelessness wants to dance today. This playlist invites Mr. Hopelessness to express himself through a medium other than my head! It gives him an alternative voice while also allowing me to join him in the expression doing something I enjoy, listening to music. We can move into and with the sadness. Yes, I dance to it. Embrace it. Release the pain. I have even grown to sometimes play my "Embrace and Express Pain" list before Mr. Hopelessness descends upon me from the shadows, and I actually enjoy the expression within my control. Listen to the lyrics and remind yourself that pain is universal. It is inevitable. We need reminders. My personal song list includes the following titles:

1. Tears In Heaven- Eric Clapton

2. Mockingbird- Eminem

3. Everybody Hurts- R.E.M.

4. Candle In The Wind- Elton John

5. Purple Rain- Prince (Adam Levine's performance is a favorite too)

6. Wish You Were Here- Pink Floyd

7. Hallelujah -Jeff Buckley

8. Yesterday- TheBeatles

9. The Sound of Silence- Simon & Garfunkel

10. Wild Horses- Rolling Stones

11. Lean on Me- Michael Bolton

12. Piece by Piece- Kelly Clarkson (idol version)

Each song represents a different kind of pain. I am reminded that pain is pain. Pain expressed is a release for your soul. Unexpressed pain metastasizes into anger, depression, bad behaviors or even health problems.

The second strategy I use to deal with him is stillness. This one can be much harder, but is absolutely a must. No running....he's faster! You can't outrun him. I know, I have run to food, run to alcohol, run into over processing in my mind and when you are done, the shame, guilt and exhaustion enhance the power of Mr. Hopelessness. Stillness is hands down the hardest. What works best for me is to find my stillness in nature and not under the covers in the dark. I can't find that yin yang balance under the covers as easily as I can outdoors. It's what you do with the stillness that matters most. When you start that time naming everything that is "right" with gratitude, Mr. Hopelessness recoils like he's been burned. Next I pray/meditate on loving thoughts. Lastly, I get present and just notice what's around me. I notice what's beautiful and miraculous. Somehow I am reminded that what I'm going through is not that important or big.

The third strategy- I help someone else. I know, it's hard to help someone else when you can't help yourself. However, helping someone else is helping yourself. It can be small. Just calling someone and listening is helpful. Taking action through movement is even more powerful. It's amazing how this helps.

Being pro-active in anticipation for Mr. Hopelessness takes intentional self-care. The principles of self care are universal (I've read a lot self-help books and have found the common threads among them). I encourage you to embrace the low days differently. We all have them. They don't define us. They don't rule our lives. Don't let them be a LOVE BLOCKER that shuts down your connection. I will post self-care principles in a future blog. In the next blog I will share about the inside of anxiety and hope to manage it. Scroll to the bottom and leave a comment...a song title you love, a tool or anything that helps someone. Take action to help someone. Share this post. Liking it on Facebook allows others to see it in their feed. It may reach someone in despair and help them feel less alone. Like and share to reach someone left in the dark today.

Sending you hope,

Cindy Walter