Anxiety: An Inside Look And Tips For Relief!

Anxiety: An inside look and tips for relief!

Do I have anxiety? For a long time I believed "no way." I really didn't know what it was.
Everyone experiences varying degrees of it, at some point in their lives.

Last week I decided to take a five day trip by myself. I packed my bags and headed for Ocean City, Maryland. I had no preplanned place to stay. I put a foam mat in my vehicle, and just decided to wing it! Feeling nothing but elated about the trip, and having no fears about going, I was baffled by the descent of anxiety that happened on my journey. It felt like it came from nowhere. Halfway there I felt complete anxiety (as described below). I literally pulled into a gas station feeling mentally lost. Just like if you're on a road trip and you get lost, your direction is disoriented, and you don't know which way to go, anxiety is when you are mentally lost. I didn't know what or how I was feeling, what I wanted to do, or why I was feeling that way. The excitement for the road trip disappeared. Suddenly I didn't know if I should be going or not and I didn't know why. There is a scary feeling that you will never feel at ease again. The unease is painfully unsettling. I was disappointed because I realized I had brought "Me" with me. I laugh about this now. If I take these things too seriously, I would be committed. It's easy to blame anxiety on the situations around you but if you're out of the situations you typically blame it on and you still experience this feeling, suddenly you know that the problem resides in you and not the circumstances around you. I wish I had a video of myself crawling into the back of my car onto the mat just paralyzed. I tried to call a friend to no avail, and so I started writing what I was experiencing in my notes app. I decided to just get curious about the madness of it. I wanted to observe myself and what I was feeling. Putting it to words is a big challenge. Simply stated, it's a feeling of detachment and unsettledness. The pressure of the ground and blocking out the pressures of driving eases the tension. Sometimes we have to just "BE" and let it pass. If we try too hard to figure out "why" we just increase the discomfort.
 

What it feels like during an anxiety attack (for me):

Anxiety for me is the feeling like your soul (the real you), the one who watches what's going on, sometimes in shock of your behaviors, detaches. Like there is nothing to ground you. Your body feels like a burden and your heart is racing. You want to detach or reattach. Anything to settle because you don't know what to do. If severe enough, its possible to even question curiously, "Do I just want to die or something?" Quickly you say NO.... I don't. So what is this?  I just want this feeling to stop! I want the good feeling I had yesterday to return. There is no good reason for this. You just want this feeling of separation to go away. It feels like you are not grounded. You want to crawl out of your physical body just to escape this physical world. Your soul is not connected, yet it's not free. It's not painful but it feels impossible to deal with. There's no bridge between your soul and your body to stop the discomfort and void. I can't turn to food, alcohol or anything for that matter, to edge it out. I long for something heavy to rest on top of me and hold me down, anchor me. "I'm so tired," you think. You feel the drowsiness settling in, yet your body will not allow you to give in. There is something about curling up and lying down, hidden, that eases the discomfort. The pressure of the ground adds enough input to the body to allow the soul to settle in.... for now. It eases.
I'm desperate to be one with my body, yet I'm desperate to escape it. Letting it pass, sitting through the discomfort, and just knowing tomorrow, relief, will come is crucial. You're longing for a new day, a better day, another sunrise.....

Tips For Relief:

The number one remedy to ease feelings of anxiety is to prevent in it in the first place! Self-care is the best prevention. How many of the self-care musts are you doing regularly? Count them and give yourself a number score! It's telling!

The remedy during the onset of anxiety is to get in the present. You need to invite contentment back to you. Anxiety is the detachment from contentment. Usually you can't put words to the anxiety in the moment. Try to put words towards TODAY instead.

• Get your gratitude on toward the present.
• Intentional deep breathing (while telling yourself some truths of the moment can help you settle)
• Calling a trusted friend (listening to happenings outside of yourself is helpful. Especially if their problems are bigger than yours ( insert chuckling here).
• Getting yourself present and grounded is the key to relief.
• Acceptance that we are not in control of outcomes is another relief. If I'm not in control, what good does it do to worry over it?
• Select a quote to use when it arises! ("Faith over fear", works for me) Hang it up, frame it, put it on a sticky note on your dash and hang it on your bathroom mirror. When you need a phrase to help you through something, it's good to burn it into your mind and subconscious. Then when you're feeling fear or anxiety, it comes right to you, anchoring your thoughts.

You're not alone. These difficulties might vary in intensity but they are still universal! It's important to laugh about it later. It helps to recognize that the anxiety in itself is not something to fear. Fear of anxiety may intensify it, and actually make it worse.


Another case in point: Stop justifying your anxiety!

There was a time when I would approach the top of my driveway to arrive home and anxiety would instantly kick in. An unsettled dread would kick in. I didn't know what the problem was. Everything I cherished was on the other side of that driveway. My family, dogs, home.... yet still, the undesirable torture settled in again. I became irritable, short and instantly started in on the things I noticed (messy, undone, or unfinished things). I was thinking that the problem was them, not me. I was justifying the anxiety. The problem with this justification is that it heightens the issue. Repeating the same storyline over in your head reinforces the discomfort. The anxiety then has a "home" in your headspace.

If I quickly remind myself of all that I should be grateful for,  breathe in all that is "right", and remind myself of the two minute rule (I keep telling myself that I don't have a "dial tone" yet). If I just get connected with them and approach the issues rather than react to them, it can change everything.

For me, anxiety can be triggered or come out of nowhere. Either way, the problem is within me. It travels with me and attaches to something else or nothing else. It is never what it appears to be.

Please share if you have or know someone with anxiety that may not want to feel alone!

Consider yourself loved,

Cindy Walter